What is in a name?

Baby names has been a hot topic around here lately. We have decided on names that have special meaning for us and I cannot wait to share it with our little one. Some people don't like to share the names they have picked out but since Jay and I have already shared them with so many people, I'm not worried about letting the cat out of the bag...just don't steal our names! :)

We had decided on a boy's name about the same time we decided to get married. A boy's name was a no brainer for us. Now if we have more than one boy...things could get interesting.
There is a history of the first born males on Jay's mom's side of the family having the initials J.T. Jay's grandfather even went by just the initials JT. Jay's initial's are J.T. so we knew we would keep the tradition of initials J.T. John is a family name on my side of the family. My brother, my uncle, my grandfather all have John in their name. Thomas is a family name on Jay's side of the family. So if we have a little boy, he will be named John Thomas Jackson. We plan to call him John Thomas. Like I said...we have had this name picked out for years now.

Girl names on the other hand have been not so easy to decide on but once we did decide on one it seemed quite obvious. The first name we had picked out was Sarah Caroline. I love the name Sarah Caroline but it got many funny looks from our family. When asked why Sarah Caroline, I couldn't give much of an answer other than we like it. We threw around the names Sophie, Isabelle, and Lillian but they just didn't seem right. Then one day it hit us. Bailey Reed. Bailey is Jay's mom's maiden name and Reed is my mom's maiden name and my middle name. It was perfect! Then I thought...wait a second....I have a cousin named Bailey Reed. She is married now so she has a different last name but I wondered how she would feel about having a cousin sharing the same name. When she emailed me to say congratulations, I asked her about sharing the name and she was excited about it. So Bailey Reed Jackson it is! Best of all, it is a way for me to share my legacy with the baby and pay tribute to the grandmothers.

So what is in a name for us? A way to say thank you to our families. I hope that our baby will one day come to appreciate the love we are passing to him or her by naming him or her with family names.
I am so excited about having chosen names that have true meaning to us.

Psalm 139:14

I will give thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made! (Psalm 139:14)

A few years ago I had the opportunity to co-direct a youth retreat based on Psalm 139:14. It was an amazing weekend helping teenagers realize that they were fearfully and wonderfully made by a God who loved them and has been with them since before they were born. That verse has always meant a lot to me but for the past 14 weeks, it has meant even more.

God has given me the wonderful opportunity to be a mother. I am still in shock at this miracle. Honestly, I always thought we would have trouble conceiving. Jay is older, I'm almost 30, both of us have had our fair share of medical problems...I just knew it would never happen on our first try (I even told Jay that a million times as I was trying to convince him it was our turn to try!) Little did I know that God had bigger and better plans in store for us. I found on July 18th that I was going to be a mom. I shared the news with Jay 2 days later when I was a little more "positive" of the news. We kept the news from our parents for a few weeks because we were waiting for my dad's birthday.

See...back earlier in the summer, my dad jokingly held up my baby cousin and exclaimed, "I want one of these for my birthday". At the time, the thought seemed crazy. When we did find out that it was possible, I had to wait for his birthday. It was a huge surprise to both of our families when we shared the news. I wish I could have gotten a picture of my mom and dad when they saw the picture we had for them but I was trying so hard to keep everything a secret.

The past 14 weeks have been an adventure. We have seen our sweet baby on the sonogram with his or her little heart fluttering away. Six weeks later we were overjoyed to hear our little one's heartbeat for the first time. My parents bought us a home doppler so that we can hear the heartbeat whenever we like. It has been fun trying to find the heartbeat. I think we have a little athlete on our hands! It seems like every time I do find the heartbeat, the baby likes to move away from the probe. I've begun feeling my first flutters and words cannot explain the feeling. It is absolutely amazing. The baby loves the combination of sugar cookies and Fresca. Every time I indulge in this combination I feel flutters! I cannot wait to start feeling more movement.

It still amazes me that God is fearfully and wonderfully shaping a new life inside of me. I love this little one more than words can explain already. I pray that Jay and I can be the best parents that God has planned for this little one. I cannot wait until April when we can hold our little one in our arms and give thanks to God for his gift.

One of the sweetest sounds I've ever heard!

This is the first time we heard the heartbeat. If you listen closely at the very beginning, you hear our wonderful doctor say, "There's your baby".



This is one of the times that I found the heartbeat at home on the doppler. It was fun trying to hold the doppler in one hand, balance my phone on my chest and chase the baby with the probe so that I could record the heartbeat.

Thank you to a sweet friend who reminded me this week that it had been a while since I posted and that someone does read my blog. :)

Praise you in this storm

"Praise You In This Storm"

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

And as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm


I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

This song has always had special meaning to me but right now it takes on a different meaning.

God, bless and restore those who are affected by this storm. Bless those who are providing relief. Bless those who have lost everything. Give hope to those who have seen the worse that there will be better days. Give strength to those cleaning up. Bless the children who have lost parents. Bless the parents who have lost children. Strengthen those who are sifting through the damage. Bless those who are donating needed item. Grace everyone affected with your love, hope, mercy, and peace.

I'm struggling right now. I have found myself angry today. Yesterday I felt guilty for enjoying myself while others suffered. Today I am angry that I can't do more to help. I want to be there to pass out supplies. I want to be there to comfort those who just need someone to listen to them. I want to help. Instead I have to complete a final that is due tomorrow night and a portfolio also due tomorrow. I am angry that I have to be so selfish.

Remember me?

Remember me? It has been a while...I took the big leap of faith and started a new job. I love it and feel like it is something that I was meant to do. It is not the easiest job and it has its moments but I find it very rewarding.
Needless to day though, life has been in full swing. Between starting a new job, my cake decorating hobby, and starting graduate school again, there is very little down time. Here it is spring break, and I'm spending it working on school work. Not complaining...but I really would like a break. I keep reminding myself that when I graduate (in December hopefully) it will all be worth it, but then again I like my down time.
In November I will turn 30. I am still amazed when I look at what all I have done in my 29 years thus far. I am excited to see what the 30s will hold for me. In September we are planning on going to Disney World, I CAN'T WAIT! Still have a lot of planning to do but it should be fun!
I guess that is all I have to update on right now. Hopefully it won't be months before I post again. :)