Sunday, January 17, 2010

Confessions

I confess....I've neglected this blog. I check it often (or I should say I check my blogroll often) but I haven't posted in forever. So as my first post of 2010 I am going to post in the form of confessions.

I confess that I was sick and tired of grad school last semester. I had one class that I hated and one that I absolutely loved. I'm excited to be graduating in May but nervous about what the future holds. I think I am ready for the next step.

I confess that I absolutely adore my class this year. They are a huge challenge but I love each and every one of them. This doesn't mean that I haven't loved my previous classes, I have just really connected with this class.

I confess that if I could quit my job and open a bakery I would. I enjoy baking and have even become a little obsessed lately. There is a joy I get from being able to create something that makes somebody happy. I wish there was a bigger demand in the area. I wish I could do party planning and catering too.

I confess that I am sad about hearing about the death of Matt but I'm also mad at myself for not telling him how I looked up to him. The world is missing an angel right now. Matt gave so much of himself in his short time here.

I confess that I am still scared of death. There have been two people that I knew to die in the past month. One was brutally murdered and one died in a tragic accident. I also confess that I am still scared of the dark even after all these years.

I confess that I am perfectionist to a fault. The one area that I am not a perfectionist in, is one area that I should be. Our house is a mess. I keep reminding myself of the analogy of the juggling balls. Some balls are made of glass and some are made of rubber. The rubber ones are the ones you can let go and know that they can be picked up later and they will bounce back into place. The glass ones are the ones that if you let go they break, so you need to focus on them more. I am working on prioritizing things so that I am making sure I focus on those glass balls.

I confess that I miss going to church. I wish I could find another church that I felt at home in. The last time I felt at home in a church was when I was going to Discovery UMC. I wish my husband would go to church with me.

I confess that I am scared you will judge me, but I'm letting that fear go.

3 comments:

DeEtte said...

Holly,
I just found this off of Penny's blog. I was procrastinating cleaning my house (yeah - I'm so not a perfectionist when it comes to my house either!) and was just clicking random blogs..

Anyway..love, love your honesty and transparency.

And hey, if you ever want to try Discovery again, send me a message or e-mail..it's just me and the girls and we'd love you to join us anytime. It's been through it's share of ups and downs over the years..but is in a good place now..I'll tell you more if you're interested.

And here's my confession: I never did take down that Christmas tree. Maybe this weekend!

Bette Nix said...

I love you Holly Jackson unconditionally! May you find rest and assurance in God's arms.

Amarilys said...

Thanks so much for the blog roll link! I enjoyed your latest entry and would love to invite you to our church. Valleydale Church off of Valleydale Rd. in the Hoover/Riverchase area.

You're welcome anytime...no judgments about whether you're there by yourself or with hubby or for any other reason.

Thanks for a good read today!